I met the M family on a recent muggy morning when we got together to do a quick mini shoot at their new home.

I love this series of father and son.

But don’t forget baby sis.

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JACKSONVILLE – Just a few slots left for Holiday Mini Sessions! See Investment page for details.

Because I try to be all about being real when it comes to life, photography and especially parenthood, I had to share these 11 steps. I got them from my friend Jennie who I met at Me Ra’s workshop and who happens to be an amazing person, mom and photographer herself.

I have my hands full for the next several days, so probably won’t be posting much…have a great weekend!

11 Step Program for People Who Want Kids

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Thinking of Having Kids? Do this 11 step program first!

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2 ~ Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their…

1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child’s breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, an d overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the
last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3 ~ A really good way to discover how the nights might feel…

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and
be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4 ~ Can you stand the mess children make? To find out…

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5 ~ Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh..
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this – all morning.

Lesson 6 ~ Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don’t think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don’t look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week’s groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Tele tubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you’re thinking What’s ‘Noggin’?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying ‘mommy’ repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each ‘mommy’; occasional crescendo to the
level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years.. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the ‘mommy’ tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

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BOOK NOW for Holiday Mini Sessions! See Investment page for details.

A few slots left for  Fort Lauderdale and Atlanta families! Contact me at jenmen@gmail.com

Remember this sweet baby? Five months have passed since I last saw her, and I was amazed at how much she’s grown and changed. I couldn’t believe how much more she looks like her mom now!

With her proud big brother!

Forgive me, this one’s a little long.

It should go without saying, but I love this kid.

She does everything with passion – draw, sing, laugh, cry, scream, listen, love, rage. She can be tough to parent. TOUGH. TOOOOUUUUGGGGHHHH. I’m so grateful that she’s bright and healthy, and I don’t have to deal with any challenges related to that. But, still, I think it’s fair to say that she can push me to my limits. I haven’t read it, but this book title captures just how CM makes me feel at times (unfortunately, I don’t have time to read it)! But, oh God, when I step back and watch her…or look at the photos of her…she takes my breath away.

Sorry if this is a few too many pictures. This has been a difficult week. I’m taking a cue from my old Childbirth class by going to my quiet place and focusing on a picture (or many) that makes me happy.

She is so like her dad in many ways. Same taste buds, mischievousness, curiosity, and, yes, intensity.  They are two of the most stubborn and persistent, and least likely to forget ANYTHING, people I’ve come across. You should see them lock horns. I seriously fear for the teen years. I guess the similarity is why I love them both so much.

I’m so curious to see how VC will fit into the picture as her personality develops.

Thanks for indulging me…I’m off to Atlanta for B&J’s wedding. I love this couple, love the location (it happens to be where my own wedding reception was!) and I can’t wait to share some pictures from it when I get back.

Those are lyrics from T&B’s song, and very appropriate for them indeed. These two have been through incredible challenges to get to their wedding day and they deserved to celebrate and be celebrated. I’m so proud and happy for them. And I was honored to be asked to document their day.

On a personal note, I learned a ton from my first official wedding shoot. First of all, that I LOVE doing it! Secondly, that I have a LONG way to go – but really I will probably always feel that way. I couldn’t just pick a few images to share here, so I put together some collages.

Getting ready…

Some of the details that they put much thought and effort into.

Ceremony…

For a guy who supposedly doesn’t really dance, B looked great on the dance floor…

Just a few more…

I went a little crazy with the lens flares on this shoot, but they were doing beautiful things inside my viewfinder!

These two girls gave me a glimpse of my future…both full of energy and running 90 mph in opposite directions! Here are a few of my favorites.

What is it about swings? I can’t resist them.

Little sister trying to fit into big sis’s shoes…I can relate!

Some of my recent and upcoming shoots involve dogs. I love the spontaneity they provide since they couldn’t care less about the camera. On the other hand, it does add yet another element to consider as I snap away. I came away from this shoot with a handful of “almost great”  photos with thier beautiful dog. I’ll keep working on it. In the meantime, I’m happy to have gotten some good shots of the humans in this fun family.

Mom shines when she’s interacting with her baby boy.

You can just see mom’s great smile in the corner of this one.

Gotta give daddy some love, too…

And can’t forget C the dog!

Well, a little bit country and little bit rock n’ roll. Check out 11 week old Miss K’s shoes…

Naturally, after a few wardrobe changes, some of the best pictures were the naked ones…

Lastly, I just love how tiny she looks here.

Dancing, air guitar, light saber fencing, tickling and a little swinging…all in another day’s work. I love it! I had a great time with B&S while they showed me their rooms, the games they play with their amazing mom (who was dancing and swash buckling right along with them), and their insanely fun backyard.

I’ve been working on a slideshow of this shoot, but since it’s taking a little longer than I hoped, I wanted to share a couple highlights.

I don’t know if it’s because I married a great one, but there is something special about big brothers and thier baby sisters.  I’m sure they don’t love each other every moment as much as they appear to in these, but when they do…

I am working on building my portfolio, so from now through the end of April, I am offering FREE PORTRAIT SESSIONS!! I’m looking for kids of all ages, genders and ethnicities, as well as pregnant moms. Prints are not included, but you will recieve a FREE digital slideshow to share with all your friends.

Please help me spread the word! Make sure your friends mention that you referred them so I’ll know who to thank!

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